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Sun, 05 Mar 2006 22:04:18 GMT

Things are quiet.

This is worrying.

Wed, 22 Feb 2006 02:50:48 GMT

That was interesting. On both parts.

It was oddly...liberating? I still can't believe I said some of those things though. Just thinking about it makes me go red.

Wed, 15 Feb 2006 00:21:24 GMT

Perception is a strange thing.

I guess it feels odd to be alone because I'd intended to spend Valentine's with Akaya. I guess it can't be helped. Things could be better.

[Sadaharu: I meant to come out today to give you something but didn't make it. I suppose you would have been busy anyways. May I drop by quickly tomorrow?]

[Sengoku: Happy Valentine's Day. I had something for you but couldn't come out to Tokyo today. Anyway I can deliver this to you tomorrow after practice?]

Sun, 02 Oct 2005 18:16:55 GMT

I haven't really seen him since last Sunday.

Mon, 26 Sep 2005 00:35:00 GMT

You didn't let anyone down, don't you say otherwise. It was a fantastic match.

Stop moping and come out with me.

We played without regret and while winning would have been better I don't feel like we did anything but our best. Congratulations to Seigaku and a warning that next year we'll take the championship title back.

Sat, 24 Sep 2005 21:04:37 GMT

I will be heading for a session of Bikram Yoga tonight. I thought it would be a good way to relax before tomorrow's matches.

I'll make no statement about my expectations of the matches except that they will be breathtaking.

Will you be there to watch?

I would like to face Sadaharu on the court again, except --

Never mind.

Fri, 16 Sep 2005 01:59:33 GMT

I... bonded with my mother tonight?

She's been into yoga lately and before I knew it I was in the half lotus position. And then she sat me down and made me talk.

I told her about Akaya. She seemed to take it well and was very encouraging. And very... it was embarrassing.

Very strange to talk to her so much since usually we exchange few words.

It was nice I think.

And she thinks I should 'go for it'... yes, embarrassing.

A little bit on the topic, for some variety in the Professor's seminar

Sat, 10 Sep 2005 02:43:39 GMT

Sexual energies aim to fortify the body from disease or the development of any internal harmony that would lead to disease.

Taoist approached sex at different levels, on the physical level sexual activity can have an intense healing affect. On an emotional level sexual praying can calm the emotions and create a peaceful state within which to solve problems and create better circumstances. At a spiritual level some of these rituals are thought to be able to ‘spiritualize’ the body, which is a body liberated of time and space.

It is thought that semen contains a man’s physical essence. It is purely nourishing on all levels. Taoist exercises aim to strengthen the prostate and muscles of the anus and genitalia so that a man can separate orgasm from ejaculation.

Men are encouraged to approach 98% or 99% of orgasm, but not to go through ejaculation. This takes a fair amount of discipline on the man's part, but the rewards are orgasms that last up to hours, and fortify and energize him.

Beyond exercises that allow the man to withhold ejaculation, there is another practice called 'injaculation.' In this practice, by pressing on an acupuncture point, the ejaculate is directed from the Prostate, back into the body, rather than out through the Urethra.

Wed, 31 Aug 2005 01:51:09 GMT

I think it's long past time that this is ridiculous. You will speak with me. If you do not give me a time I will come over personally and corner you.

Mon, 29 Aug 2005 00:51:58 GMT

He tried to kiss me.

I suppose since we're dating that shouldn't surprise me but it did. And then I kissed him on the cheek and... I feel just a little inept at this. Not sure how to deal with it. I don't mind touching Akaya. I touch him more than I would most other people but I'm not a very physical person I suppose. And while it occurred to me that dating involves... physical aspects as well as just. Actually I don't really know what I was thinking. Just to say that I wasn't really dwelling on the physical aspect of it.

Maybe it just takes time and I'll become more comfortable with that notion. One can only hope.

Sun, 21 Aug 2005 17:47:34 GMT

Would you like to go somewhere together sometime?

How is this going to ever work? I'm feeling more pessimistic but I promised Sadaharu.

Fri, 12 Aug 2005 01:27:49 GMT

I wonder if I'm becoming ill, I'm not usually this tired. ~~Granted the beginning of the week was exhausting...~~

I think I will be resting before... the party. Which I am probably attending. I will need all the energy I can save up.

Fri, 05 Aug 2005 03:43:02 GMT

How's Tuesday for everyone?

My mother said she would drive us, Akaya and Seiichi, probably pick you up around 9 AM.

Amane-kun, will you be able to meet us at the front gate around 11 AM?

Mon, 01 Aug 2005 00:04:18 GMT

I was wondering if you would be free sometime in the coming week to visit Disneyland? I have four tickets and since you seem to get along well with Seiichi I thought I might invite you along. I would really appreciate it if you could.

-- Yanagi.

Thu, 28 Jul 2005 17:13:38 GMT

Nationals are fast approaching. I've been going over all the training for the current regulars and the ones Akaya has selected for the next year.

I've intensified my own training sufficiently believe. I don't intend to lose again.

I feel a little guilty though, I've been so focused on the training that I have spent little time with Akaya or Sadaharu. I still haven't really spoken to Sadaharu since our argument, he was away for a week but I had plenty of time before that. And I haven't taken Akaya out again since the movie.

I also still have not gone to Tokyo for Spike's tank.

It seems that while everything is well prepared and in line for the tennis team I've managed to make a mess of my personal schedule.

Did you want to go out together some time? I think we could use a break from the training.

I hope your trip went well.

Thu, 07 Jul 2005 02:08:21 GMT

It's not in my personality to procrastinate. But my visit to Tokyo is overdue. Not that I'm in that much of a hurry to get a tank but I've been meaning to at least search for something appropriate for months. And it's not as if I'm busy. Lethargy does not suit me.

The movie could have been worse. And a date does not seem so different from what friends do amoungst themselves. If under a different name. It makes me wonder at the necessity of calling it something else but for now I'm satisfied I suppose. It could have been much worse.

As for the movie it could have been much better.

Tue, 28 Jun 2005 19:49:02 GMT

It's time to... relax I suppose. Last week was tense but at least I have something to look forward to now. Summer is long, something should be done to make it productive. I feel as if I've neglected some things and people.

I should really go visit Tokyo soon.

We haven't really spoken for a while. ~~I'm a bit worried.~~ Perhaps lunch of tea together sometime?

I'm still irritated though. The feeling won't leave me, who am I to fight it?

I never got my answer but from data dating sounds like two people spending time together. That does not sound so hard to do. In fact, I think I'll even enjoy it, take my mind of other things despite the questionable choice of movie.

Mon, 27 Jun 2005 02:37:20 GMT

Graduation has come and gone. It's not a big deal, I'll still be around mostly the same people.

What did surprise me was that father came to see my graduation. I suppose I shouldn't be, I am his only son. But no one had informed me he would be present. He's here one day, gone the next so that also is not a big deal.

Tue, 21 Jun 2005 20:32:10 GMT

I had hoped things would grow simpler, it looks like it won't happen.

I should not have involved others. I'm thinking too much again and I have a headache.

Mon, 20 Jun 2005 18:19:25 GMT

What exactly does one do on a date? ~~Actually don't be too exact.~~

This feels a little surreal. But I think I did the right thing. I think.

It's not as uncomfortable as I thought it would be and. Akaya seemed happy, that's good. The only remaining problem is... I'm really not sure what is expected of me. I'm most certain I wouldn't be comfortable doing what ~~Sadaharu and Fuji do~~ ~~Seiichi and Genichirou did~~ couples do.

I think we're a couple though? Or something resembling that. Despite the confusion it's actually not that bad. Actually, not at all. I'm just nervous I suppose.

[OOC: strikeouts deleted]

Tue, 14 Jun 2005 01:19:14 GMT

He wasn't at practice.

I suppose that's normal. He probably doesn't feel comfortable around me for now. That's all I hope.

I wonder if he'll be at practice tomorrow.

I've considered things. Perhaps too much. I keep asking myself questions that I don't understand or cannot answer. My own feelings seem confused. I think I want to return whatever it is that Akaya feels, at the same time I do not feel any differently for him than I always have. Unless I have always felt something of a... crush for him or I don't at all. Logically that means I don't? Or maybe I do feel differently. But that doesn't say much either.

It's not possible that I just start feeling specially about him, feelings do not just appear. But. I should stop thinking for today.

I just hope he'll be at practice tomorrow.

Mon, 13 Jun 2005 16:20:35 GMT

I don't know if I'm acting naturally. And my goal is to act naturally, I think. I have yet to see Akaya today yet but I will see him at practice. And. I should be natural?

It's not the first time I've received... a confession (which... it is strange to think of it as such). Somehow I don't think 'No, thank you,' is what I want to say to Akaya. Not that I have to say anything. Or do I? I just want to do whatever will... damage our relationship least?

He ran away from me, that's not how. I don't know.

It occurs to me that I should talk to someone about this but I don't know who. Seiichi is having a rough time as of late and I don't want to burden him more. I'm not certain I'm completely comfortable talking about this to Sadaharu. Yagyuu... I have not seen him around and I'm uncertain if he'd be much better at this than I am (though I suspect everyone is better at this than I am). I am most unreliable in this case, talking to myself will only complicate matters.

I don't know. Data out of context is useless, I need someone with practical experience that I can trust. But I don't know if I can trust anyone on this. It is. Private. And out of respect for Akaya I would not want to spread this either.

In other words: I'm screwed.

Fri, 10 Jun 2005 20:02:22 GMT

You really didn't have to spend so much on me. Really, though, thank you. I've started reading the book, I'm really enjoying it.

Thanks for the well wishes and the gifts.

Fri, 03 Jun 2005 03:21:42 GMT

Happy Birthday, Professor.

Thu, 26 May 2005 16:59:16 GMT

Graduation is upon us. I trust there will be plenty of crying. Plenty. There's a high probability that Seiichi will be making the graduation speech, I personally could not think of anyone better to deliver it.

I believe most of us will be attending the general branch of Rikkai's high school so there's little seperation. I worry for next year's team however.

[I believe Seiichi is having similar worries, he's intensified his training without consulting with me.

I'm also worried about...the junior high team of course. Akaya is skilled, there's no doubting that. He will be the most skilled player for the team. At the same time I'm worried about the position of captain.

It's pointless to worry about this. The boat will straighten itself out at port.]

I don't believe in birthday gifts. Or gift giving in general.

[But I'm trying to think of a gift for him. It's been years since there's been the possibility of spending our birthday together. I feel, quite impulsively, the urge to get him something. Something appropriate and useful.

Of course I can't even be sure if he's free, he may very well be doing something with Fuji.

I considered getting him a blender of some sort... but that's just encouraging him.]